Dancing With The Stars Week 2

Performance Night

Last week, they crammed 13 performances into 2 hours, which seemed a little rushed. This week, 11 seemed just about right, which means that we can expect some filler next week with only 10.

This week was also notable in that it had the shortest training period of the season. Last week's three night premiere meant that the stars didn't start training until Thursday, which left only a few days before the Monday dress rehearsal. The net effect of the abbreviated practice time was worse performances (thankfully, the judges kept it real and didn't artificially inflate the scores).


Most Creative Song Choice goes to Lance, whose status as a recently outed gay man made "I Kissed A Girl and I Liked It" take on added meaning.

Best Performance was undoubtedly by Warren and his partner Kym, who came up with a Matrix-themed Paso Doble. They went all out with the crazy lighting and full-length pleather costumes, and got the only standing ovation of the night. Even traditionalist head judge Len approved of the modern spin, calling it "menacing." Last week, Warren showed that he could be quick and precise on his feet, and this week, he showed that he can bring a sense of character to the dance floor. This guy just became a big contender.



Worst Outfit was Misty, who looked like a third tier performer at a fifth tier drag show. Her muscley arms and angular face are always going to invite some problems, but her costuming to date has been downright criminal. Runner up was Cloris, who looked like Lucille Ball in a matador costume.

Other things of note:
Misty had hands-down the most ambitious routine, and while she didn't exactly kill it, it showed that she and Maksim are pushing themselves to the absolute limit. The fact that they're working so hard now could really pay off in later rounds.

Both Rocco and Kim looked pretty dismal during their routines. They not only didn't do very well, they barely had any dance moves in their routine in the first place. Even Cloris had more substance in her routine, and that's really saying something.


Overall, here's how the stars did:

Brooke: 24
Warren: 24 (up from 22 = most improved!)
Toni: 23
Misty: 21
Cody: 21
Susan: 21
Lance: 20
Maurice: 19
Kim: 17
Rocco: 16 (down from 21 = worst drop)
Cloris: 15

Writing this on Monday night after the show, it seems clear that one of the bottom three scorers has to go-- Kim, Rocco, or Cloris. We know from last week that Kim and Cloris were each pulling more votes than Ted-- does that mean that Cloris can leapfrog Rocco as well and continue to hang around? All three of them are deservedly vulnerable.

The Standings

How does the pool look after some TS and BS points get thrown around? Four players earned 13 points for nailing Brooke as the TS, while every single person got Cloris as BS, which resulted in a meaningless five point bonus for everybody.

Mike continues to rock a near-perfect game, and threatens to break the 1100 barrier. The points tightened things up for some people, but barely affected the standings at all.

1st: Mike 1092 (+18)
2nd: Lisa 1019 (+5)
3rd: Kim 1011 (+5)
4th: Matt 1006 (+18)
5th: Experts 1005 (+5)
6th: Carl 983 (+5)
7th: Rick 976 (+18)
8th: Dawn 968 (+18)
9th: Paul 943 (+5)

Results Night


An hour of filler leading up to a moment of suspense. Tonight's special guest star was Jessica Simpson, who has recently "gone country," to groans and derision from all of the blue states. After performing her country single "Come On Over," Simpson was apparently unable to come up with a second original country tune, and so she belted out a country version of Robbie Williams "Angels." Sounded terrible.

There was also a momentarily entertaining number by esteemed music video choreographer Brian Friedman. All of the dancers had glowing patterns on their outfits while they danced against a background of darkness and neon lights. It was a cool effect, even if the soulless pop music eventually drained it of all charm.

Other segments included a look at the Red Room, which is where we see all of the dancers horsing around together, and a look at the hectic travel schedule of Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli, who zip back and forth between the US and the UK to juggle judging duties (in the UK, the original version of DWTS is called "Strictly Come Dancing").

One week in and the filler segments are already reduced to flight itineraries and set pieces? I'm not sure where they can go from here.

They saved Rocco (who scored 16) early, which instantly meant that it was almost certain to come down to Cloris (15) and Kim (17). This is exactly what happened, and it turns out that the voting public was more interested in a wacky old has-been than a vapid young never-was. That's right. Kim KardASSian was eliminated from the show.


As a woman whose reality fame has come almost exclusively from the fact that she has a big ass, Kim was fighting an uphill battle. She must have decided that this was an opportunity to introduce herself to America as something more than a sex object, but what we learned was that when you take away the curves, there's not much left to her. She wore outfits that covered up, rather than accentuated, her famous asset, so she clearly wasn't going for sexpot. Even Bruno Tonioli, who is known for giving the verbal equivalent of a leg-humping to most of the female dancers, called her "colder than Siberia."

This left only two ways to go: great personality, or great dancer. She was neither. Her interviews were pleasant, but very bland. Her dancing wasn't the worst on the show, but it was close enough for the lack of audience votes to send her packing. Her dancing clip was one of the most searched video clips on the internet this week (according to the search engine analysts), but people must not have liked what they saw.

The good news for cellar-scorers Rocco and Cloris is that they each pulled enough audience votes to leapfrog Kim. If they can just pull their scores up (and that's a big if), they might be able to hang around for a little while.

So where does that leave us? let's take a look at...

The Standings

1st: Experts 1055 (+50)
2nd: Mike 1032 (-60)
3rd: Kim 1001 (-10)
4th: Lisa 969 (-50)
5th: Rick 966 (-10)
5th: Matt 966 (-40)
7th: Dawn 958 (-10)
8th: Carl 933 (-50)
9th: Paul 923 (-20)

Wow, that Kim K. elimination really leveled the playing field. Pool leaders Mike and Lisa took a tumble (along with Carl), losing more points than anyone. Eat it, Mike!

Bottom feeders Rick and Dawn (along with Kim) lost only 10 points apiece, bringing them back into the thick of things. Even Paul lost only 20, which brings him to within ten points of Carl. The only ones to predict the Kim K. ouster were the Experts, who have shamed us all by taking the lead in the pool.

And at the close of week 3, with their 10 year anniversary approaching, Rick and Lisa are within 3 points of each other. That is really adorable.

Good luck, everyone!

Be sure to send me your TS and BS scores before next week's show. If I don't hear from you, I'll keep the same ones that you used this week.