Dancing With the Stars 2009: Week 1

ONE two-three, ONE two three, HERE we go, NEW season.

We kicked off with a Waltz/ChaCha round, which featured a relatively slow pace for most of the contestants. Even so, the night was full of low-scoring paddles, with lots of 6s being tossed around. We even saw some 4s, which is very unusual.

If I'm understanding correctly, tonight's performance will be combined with another performance show next Monday, and next Tuesday, the first elimination will happen based on the combination of the two performances.

We're liiiiive! Thanks, Tom Bergeron.

Most of the professional dancers from last season are back, including siblings Derek and Julianne, newly engaged Maksim and Karina, Derek's bandmate Mark, Kym from Australia, standbys Edyta and Tony, and supposedly "bad girl" Lacey.

Notably absent are Mark's Dad Corky, who they dusted off last season to dance with Cloris Leachman, and Jonathan's wife Anna.

They've also introduced two new professionals. The first is anonymous blonde Chelsea, who I'm thinking of as Julianne 2.0. She's partnered with Jewel's husband, Ty. The second is Dmitry, who seems affable enough. He's got Holly as a partner.

In general, the dances were very rough, and this is after a month of preparation. Next week, they may get even rougher with the reduced practice time. I thought a lot of the stars looked like they were expecting some kind comments from the judges, but they were usually disappointed. The judges are trying to set a tone that will allow for continual improvement over the course of the season.

Interesting bits included the revelation that Steve Wozniak is a complete and utter nerd, while Denise Richards broke down crying after Maksim refused to coddle her. I don't expect either of them to be around for long. Also, Belinda Carlisle says that spinning around, even in moderation, makes her sick. Good luck with that, Belinda!

Jackasser Steve O was a better dancer than I expected, and better than the judges gave him credit for. Playboy perennial Holly only had a couple of days to prepare, and it showed. She was really terrible, but the judges were kind to her-- maybe too kind. Gilles, Melissa, and Shawn were all rightfully identified as frontrunners, at least as far as the judge scoring goes. We'll see what kind of audience votes the celebrities pull.

Here are the scores:

Gilles and Cheryl: 24
Melissa and Tony: 23
Shawn and Mark: 23
Lil Kim and Derek: 21
Chuck and Julianne: 20
David and Kym: 19
Denise and Maks: 18
Holly and Dmitry: 18
Belinda and Jonathan: 17
Steve-O and Lacey: 17
Lawrence and Edyta: 16
Ty and Chelsea: 14
Steve and Karina: 13

The Pool:

I'm basing the first set of TS/BS scores on who people picked to win and lose. That means that Dawn and Vegas picked up all the TS bonus points for picking Shawn to win (no one picked Gilles or, obviously, Melissa). Meanwhile, Carl, Lisa, Vegas and I split the BS points for having Steve out first.

Some people submitted picks for last-minute add-ons Holly and Melissa, while some people didn't. So here's what we'll do: I've disregarded any Holly/Melissa picks, and presented the other 11 celebs that you predicted. You should insert Holly and Melissa into your existing picks, so that your ordering of the other stars is preserved. Your existing picks will just be bumped up or bumped down depending on where you put Holly and Melissa.

Here are everyone's picks without the modifications:

Matt's Picks

13th:
12th:
11th: Steve
10th: David
9th: Denise
8th: Steve O
7th: Belinda
6th: Lawrence
5th: Lil Kim
4th: Gilles
3rd: Ty
2nd: Shawn
1st: Chuck


Kim's Picks

13th:
12th:
11th: Ty
10th: Steve
9th: David
8th: Steve O
7th: Denise
6th: Belinda
5th: Shawn
4th: Lawrence
3rd: Gilles
2nd: Lil Kim
1st: Chuck

Dawn's Picks

13th:
12th:
11th: Lil Kim
10th: Steve
9th: David
8th: Ty
7th: Steve O
6th: Chuck
5th: Belinda
4th: Lawrence
3rd: Gilles
2nd: Denise
1st: Shawn

Carl's Picks

13th:
12th:
11th: Steve
10th: Steve O
9th: David
8th: Lil Kim
7th: Denise
6th: Ty
5th: Chuck
4th: Gilles
3rd: Lawrence
2nd: Shawn
1st: Belinda

Lisa's Picks

13th:
12th:
11th: Steve
10th: David
9th: Steve O
8th: Ty
7th: Chuck
6th: Gilles
5th: Belinda
4th: Lawrence
3rd: Denise
2nd: Shawn
1st: Lil Kim

Vegas Picks

13th: Steve
12th: Holly
11th: Steve O
10th: David
9th: Ty
8th: Belinda
7th: Denise
6th: Lawrence
5th: Lil Kim
4th: Melissa
3rd: Gilles
2nd: Chuck
1st: Shawn


I applied some starting score adjustments based on how well we did last year. Dawn is the defending champion (Lord of the Dance), so she's starting off with a target on her back. Our starting scores are as follows:

1st: Lisa 1015
2nd: Kim 1010
3rd: Matt 995
4th: Carl 990
5th: Vegas 990
6th: Dawn 980

After the first episode, some TS/BS bonus points were handed out, benefitting the Vegas oddsmakers more than anyone. Here's where we stand now:

1st: Lisa 1023 (+0)
2nd: Vegas 1013 (+23)
3rd: Kim 1010 (+0)
4th: Matt 1003 (+8)
5th: Carl 998 (+8)
6th: Dawn 995 (+15)

So, for next week, please send me a Top Scorer (TS) pick, a Bottom Scorer (BS) pick, and tell me where in your lineup you're like to insert Melissa and Holly.